Thirteen Reasons Why Rachel Committed Suicide
by gleekghfan
Summary: Rachel Berry's thirteen reasons why. AU based off of Jay Asher's book, "Thirteen reasons Why." Finn's POV Please READ and REVIEW:
1. CD one Part One

**Okay so this idea came to me because my friend told me to read thirteen reasons why! So I figured why not do Rachel Berry's thirteen reasons why. Please enjoy:) This will be A LOT like the book, just with Glee twists. **

**BTW FINCHEL NEVER DATED THIS HAPPENED RIGHT BEFORE REGIONALS.  
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**AU**

**Thirteen Reason's Why Rachel Berry Committed Suicide.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Thirteen Reasons Why. Jay Asher does. I also do not own glee.**

**Chapter One: CD One: Part One.**

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**Finn's POV:**

I opened up the package that I'd received and stared down at it. I opened it and was a little surprised. Inside were thirteen CDs. They were labeled One-thirteen. I was a little confused. Until I looked at the name of who it was from.

Rachel Berry.

But that wasn't possible. Rachel Berry died two weeks ago. She killed herself. I know. I saw it on the news. There was no way she could send me mail...Unless this was all some big terrible joke. That's what I hoped for as I brought the box with me into my room.

I grabbed my old portable cd player and popped in the first CD. I plugged in the headphones and sat on my bed. Waiting. That's when something weird happened. I heard static. Wait...this is a recording?

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_Hello. I'm Rachel Berry. But you know that. Every single one of you know that. I bet you were surprised when you got the box full of CDs. I bet you stared at it, then guessed it was just a joke. Well no, this is no joke. This is me, my final hurrah as I like to put it._

_More I importantly I guess you could say...this is me explaining. I feel like I owe you that much. Some of you at least. Everyone who is listening to these tapes...is on the list of reasons that I am going to kill myself. Or...I guess if your listening to this...already killed myself._

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It was quiet and all I could here was static. My heart skipped a couple of beats. And I got scared. She had said that anyone listening was on the list of reasons why she had killed herself. Meaning...I was on that list of reasons.

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_Let's start with rules. First of all...One person is in charge of the tapes, and they will be watching the rest of you. If you haven't heard about my suicide yet, your in charge of the tapes. So anyways. That person will be watching you. And if these CDs don't get passed on...they will be leaked to the whole school._

_Some people wouldn't want that. So I want these to go through every single person on here. There are thirteen of you. Twelve of you get to pass these on and not feel like they have anything to worry about. But the thirteenth person gets to take these to hell._

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_He sweet voice never cracking. She sounded so serious. What number am I? I had to wonder. Was I thirteen? Was I going to take these tapes with me...to hell?

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_You'll never look at each other the same way again. Just a warning. You'll see the people I talk about and never EVER look at them like you used to. _

_So how about we start. The first person, or rather the first reason is...Santana Lopez. So Santana is this is you...if you listening right now...I bet your pretty excited. You could be done. You could just listen to your tape, then the beginning of the next tape and move on. But I know you, and something tells me you'll want to be nosy and hear everyone's stories._

_But first, Santana. Let's talk about you._

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I should've known Santana would be on here. But why her Rachel? Why is she first? There are so many people who've done awful things to you, who honestly deserve to be first...why'd you pick her?

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_Your horrible. You were horrible to me and to everyone else. How you ever get guys to follow you around, or how your popular. You want my guess though? I think it's because you scare people. Oh and your easy._

_I bet your mad now. I bet your mad that I said that. What are you going to do though? Go to school and spread rumors about me? Well it's a little to late. Your words no longer affect me. I'm a happier better place._

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You may be happier Rachel, but no one else is. Everyone is miserable without you. School's been quiet...to quiet. People can barley look at each other anymore. We all feel so guilty. And Glee...we don't even feel like performing anymore.

It's nothing without you.

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_So the reason's your on this list One, you tortured me. Two you made me hate myself. And three...you ruined a girls life. Yeah that's right I'm going there. I'm going to tell everyone your dirty little secret. The one about Brittany Pierce._

_And you say you're her best friend._

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What happened to Brittany? Come on Rachel tell. Please.

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_You remember Santana? You know exactly what I'm talking about. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you never realized I was there. When you let Brittany get raped. Yes, I know. And now, everyone on these tapes knows to._

_You were supposed to protect her. That was your job. No matter how horrible you were to everyone else...you were supposed to protect Brittany! And then what'd you do! You turned around! You let that neanderthal hurt her!_

_I didn't tell because Brittany told me not to. She didn't want anyone to know. And I was going to die soon anyways, so I let her have that. _

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Who did it? Who hurt Brittany? Oh my god...what the hell happened and where was I when this happened.

I stood up and walked into the living room. I grabbed my backpack and the box with the cds in it. I pulled on my shoes and texted my mom that I was going out. Then I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door.

This had the makings for an interesting, long night.

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**What'd you think?  
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	2. CD one Part Two

**I have a goal for tonight! Finish this entire story lol. That way tomorrow I can start writing "I call your name again." Haha lol so I'm seriously going to actually try and right all the chapters tonight! And make them good and worth reading! haha no joke! So bear with me:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The book "Thirteen reasons Why." Jay asher does. I also do not own glee.**

**Chapter: CD One. Part Two.**

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**Finn's POV:**

I walked down the street in a huff. The CD was paused as I got to a stop sign and took a seat on the curb.

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_It still makes me sick to think about it. The way she cried. The way she begged you to help her... I can still hear her cries...can you? She cried for you. And I couldn't even move...or I would've helped her. I was to busy being held down my number eight on this lovely list._

_She trusted you. I just can't believe you'd betray her like that. I mean Santana...we all know Brittany isn't the smartest. She's such a sweet girl. She needs people to help her with everything. People to protect her._

_But what did you do? You sold her out like some cheap whore. But for what really? I don't think it was just about money. I think it something more. Actually I know it was for something more._

_And for all of you who have no idea where this is taking place, try Karofsky's first party of Sophomore year. Before everything. Before Glee Club. Before Anything. _

_This is how I truly came to know the real Santana Lopez. And maybe I'll spare you Santana. I won't tell everyone the secret you don't want them to know. I shouldn't though. I should tell. Because this event...this event is what set a whole bunch of events into motion._

_All because of one stupid night, and one stupid girl._

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Rachel you should have told me. Once we got to know each other better. I would have listened. I would have done anything for you.

Her voice was cold and shaky. I heard soft sobs. And a the static sound again.

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_You know...I could have told at anytime. But I think you honestly don't know...that I know. I think you honestly didn't know I knew. But you know now. And now it's to late. More than just us know._

_It's no longer a secret._

_Listen. I hate you for that. For Letting him hurt Brittany, but I also feel sorry for you. Because now...you'll have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. The guilt of knowing what you let happen to your best friend. Or so called best friend._

_Another thing you did. _

_You stole away the one person who meant anything to me. And why? Because you were jealous. Because I wasn't allowed to have anything good! I guess I'm not allowed to be happy._

_You took Finn._

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Rachel. She didn't take me. I was there. We may have broken up, but I was still there. If you would've told me what was wrong...I would've tried to help. Santana didn't take me from you. And if you felt like that I'm so sorry.

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of my name. I figured I was going to be number two.

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_You slept with him. And then everyone lied to me about it. Except one person. Tina Cohen Chang. She found out and told me the truth. And sort of became friend after that. But I was already to far gone, and there was no turning back._

_But Santana...you kind of started all of this. I mean that one night where I couldn't do anything to help Brittany basically started my entire depression. _

_Guilt was eating me alive. _

_But you know what...I'm okay now. As I sit by myself in my room...I feel at peace. And I know that Brittany would forgive me...but will she ever fully forgive you? I bet not. I wouldn't if I were her._

_You don't deserve it. _

_Well. That's all I have to say for your tape. Meaning your big secret is still safe. Meaning unless I get mad enough...I'm taking that secret to the grave._

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There was more static as I stared at the CD player in my hands. It didn't have to end this way Rachel. And what was the big secret.

I pulled my bag to the side and grabbed the box with the CD's in it. I got out number two and placed it in the player. Then standing up I began to walk into town. It was six, so people were getting off work and going home to see families. I couldn't help but wonder if any of them were wondering what I was doing.

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**Hmmm reviews are love:)**


	3. CD two

**This one will only be one chapter long. Enjoy:) Lol and please review! Haha I'm working REALLY hard on this!**

**Disclaimer: I** **do not own anything.**

**Chapter Three: CD Two.**

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**Finn's POV:**

_Hello. And welcome to CD number two. If the first story shocked, then this one will come as an even bigger surprise. Guess whose the star of this tape! If you guessed Matt Rutherford you are correct. _

_And something tells me...that if this is him, he knows exactly where I'm going with this. I mean the first tape made it obvious. Because ladies and gentleman guess what. Matt was at that party to. In the same room. Except...he just watched._

_Now you guys may be wondering... who is the rapist? Well...I know. Brittany knows. Santana Knows. Matt knows. And number eight knows. I think that's enough people who knows. When Brittany is ready...she'll tell._

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What else happened Rachel? You've got to tell. There's got to be another reason Matt is on your list. I mean just for watching the rape? Yeah that's bad...but what else? I don't believe that this is the only reason.

I walked a little farther into town until I reached the music store. I paused the tape and walked inside. Puck works here so I decided to visit him. Since we are trying to become cool about the whole Quinn and the baby thing.

"Hey." He greeted. I just nodded a little and started looking at CDs. I saw one of Broadway classics that I know Rachel would've loved.

"Hi." I said back.

He pointed towards my CD player. "Watcha listening to?" He asked. A curious look on his face. I just shook it off and began to walk towards the door.

"Nothing."

Then, I clicked play.

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_I want you guys to do something for me. If you want to. I won't know if you did it or not. Or will I...I could be following you right now. Hah. Wow that's really creepy. I do apologize for that. Anyways. Back to what I think you should do._

_I think you should go to town and sit in the old gazebo near the community center. And just sit. Because That's where I'm sitting now. In the middle of the night. No one's here. No one is ever here. Besides it's past midnight._

_No one dares walk around town in the middle of the night._

_Well except for me. But then again...I don't care. So go. Go sit in the gazebo and know that I've sat there many times. And I've cried there. And I've talked myself in and out of killing myself there._

_Now back to Matt._

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I clicked pause.

I walked to the gazebo and took a seat on the floor. I'm sorry you cried Rachel. I'm sorry if I was ever the reason you cried here. I'm so sorry. Just so, so sorry...

I clicked play.

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_You could have avoided being on this list Matt. All you had to do was say nothing. I would have forgiven you for not doing anything for Brittany. But that's not all you did. You decided you needed to stick up for your friend...the rapist._

_You threatened me. You had to threaten me not to say anything about what happened to Brittany. You said the same thing would happen to me if I told._

_Your stupid. _

_Please proceed to tape three._

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**What'd you think? Please review!**


	4. CD three

**Hmmmm Please enjoy:) Lol I am excited to write the way Finn reacts to this tape! Tape Number three lol! I'm excited to write how Finn reacts to this one! Haha Tape three:)**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.**

**Chapter Four**: **CD three.**

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**Finn's POV:**

By now I was fuming. Did Matt Rutherford someone I call a friend honestly threaten a girl with rape? How sick and messed up can you get? I mean seriously...

I grabbed my bag and pulled out CD number three. I took out the other disk and placed it gently back in the box. I breathed in and prayed that the next tape was mine.

I pressed play.

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_Jesse St. James. You lying piece of crap. You played with my emotions and pretended to like me. Why? Well I think it's because you honestly love other peoples misery. I mean you were never supposed to get me to like you. Or even love you._

_You were supposed to just try to get me to want to meet Shelby Corcoran. But no...this tape isn't about her. This is the only time her name will even be mentioned in this tape. I just needed to put that out there though. So for the record...Jesse only dated me so I would meet my mom._

_But you know...that's not all he did. He took a fragile girl and tried to manipulate her. I mean...he could clearly see that I was going over the edge. And what did he do? He pushed me further. He tried to make me do things I didn't want to do._

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Did he pressure you? I'll kill him. I'll find him and kill him. You should have never dated him. I told you he was bad news from the beginning. But you didn't believe me because you have to see the good in everyone.

I looked around the gazebo. I paused the tape, I didn't want to hear anymore right now. All I really wanted was Rachel. How was I supposed to suffer through nine more tapes and the rest of this one. Tears started falling down my cheeks.

I cried for Rachel. In the spot she'd cried for people so many times before. It was a nice secluded area. It may have been close to the community center, but I could tell it no one usually came here. Well... except for Rachel.

I clicked play.

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_But you know what? As I sit in my gazebo trying not to cry...I find...that I'm okay. I'm not mad at you per say...I'm honestly not truly mad at any of you. I just want you guys to know what part you've played in this._

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What part did I play? Come on Rachel you've got to tell me. What did I do? How am I to blame for your suicide...what all did I do wrong?

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_I also don't want you to think I don't hate you though Jesse. I mean seriously...come on get real. You egged me and then told me you loved me? That makes no sense. I trusted you for so long. I mean when I said "Crack that egg like you cracked my heart..." I really meant, "Crack that egg like how my soul is already cracked."_

_Every egg you guys threw only made everything worse._

_Honestly? It was like the final breaking point for me. Well almost. Every time one of those eggs hit me...I could feel my heart shattering beyond prepare. _

_And that Jesse. That is why you are on this list._

_The way you showed me that as horrible as I felt...I could always feel way worse. You pushed me so far! And you didn't even care! _

_But you know what? You can live with that for the rest of your miserable life. I mean, if you think you can live with knowing that what you did pushed me far enough to actually start considering suicide._

_But you know what the worst part is? He'll be able to move on. Never completely though. None of you will ever completely move on. At some point in your life...you'll hear the haunting words of the dead girl playing around in your head._

_So sorry._

_Please move on to CD Number Four. And I honestly hope your learning things about people you never new before. Tomorrow you'll be looking at people in a new light. Have fun with that._

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Your right Rachel. The haunting words of the dead girl will forever be in our heads. And that sucks. But you know what? These people deserve it. And I'm just so sorry it all had to come down to this.

You didn't deserve this.

No one should have ever pushed you like this. And maybe if I would have paid more attention...you'd still be alive. And for that...I blame myself.

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**Next chapter coming soon! Please review!**


	5. CD four

**So I'm seriously having fun with this lol! I hope you guys love it:) haha Next chapter! Chapter Five lol This one won't be very long at all lol. She doesn't have much to say about this kid.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything:(**

**Chapter Five: CD Four.**

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**Finn's POV:**

I stood up from the gazebo and stared at it for a moment. I was trying really hard not to cry again. But I was starting to get worried. Four people in and I still wasn't one of them. I looked around until I found something carved into the side of the gazebo. It was the initials R.B.B. Rachel's initials.

I smiled to myself and touched them. It made me sad just thinking about her being here. So I walked away from the gazebo and found my way to the diner. I walked in and took a seat in a booth towards the back.

I pulled my backpack onto my lap and switched out the CDs. Once I got CD four in, I clicked play and closed my eyes.

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_Well. This is disk four. I wonder whose listening right now. Hmmmm. I don't know. Well. No one really...because the CDs haven't actually been sent out yet. Wait..unless your listening to this...then obviously they have been sent out._

_This disk will be short sweet and to the point._

_I only have two things to say to this person, then you can go on to disk number five! The lucky number is...Kurt Hummel. _

_Congratulations Kurt, your not number thirteen. But I think you knew that. You figured I wouldn't be able to make you number thirteen. Besides, you don't deserve it._

_All you did was tear me down and make me feel bad about myself. Which I've never understood why you did that considering you got made fun of too. And you know how bad it hurts. So why would you do it to me?_

_I honestly think you were just jealous. That's my opinion. Jealousy does strange things to people. But why you were jealous...I never got. Oh well..._

_Kurt? Guess what Honey, that's all for you. I pointed out the one thing I wanted to. Your free. I just hope you think about what I said._

_CD five please._

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I listened to the static for a few moments. Kurt had listened to the CD's he knows why I'm on here. And I know why he was jealous. It was because of me. He's always had a weird crush on me, and I was never interested, something he took out on you.

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**Short, sweet, and right to the point:)**


	6. CD five

**Okay! So Here I go lol I'm seriously REALLY excited about this chapter:) lol This should be fun one:) To ba dit's going to be kind of short to:( lol But CD six should be fairly long:) So just bare with me okay? :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter Six: CD five.**

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Not moving I just laid my head against the back of the booth and breathed deeply until I felt someone tap me. I looked up and saw a very pregnant Quinn Fabray standing before me in her waitress uniform.

"What can I get you?" She asked cheerfully. Or at least she was cheerful until she saw the CD player in my hand. Her face fell and she looked at the floor. That's when I knew...she was on the CD's to.

"A strawberry milkshake." I answered with a head nod. She wrote it down then took a seat across from me. She sighed and stared at anything but me.

"Which CD are you on?" She whispered.

I stared at her for a moment the cleared my throat. " Five." I whispered back. Quinn nodded and stood up, walking back to the counter and preparing my milkshake. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the time.

It was eight thirty. I sighed and pulled out the box and grabbed the next CD and traded it out just like I had before. This was getting harder and harder. I started to worry that I would end up having to keep these forever.

I clicked play.

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_Well...well...well. Look how far we've made it. And some of you still haven't even heard your story yet. I wonder if number thirteen is listening and has a feeling they will be lucky number thirteen._

_Even though I'm listing my reasons for my suicide as people...I am still complete and fully to blame for my own demise. Most of you all are just people who helped make my decision a little easier._

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Come on Rachel. Who is this tape about? Is it me? Or am I as you so kindly put it...Lucky Number Thirteen? Please just please...I really just really need to know why I'm on here!

My head started to hurt. Then Quinn brought me my milkshake and I sipped quietly as I listened to every word Rachel had to say.

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_So number five...Just so you know...you really didn't do anything wrong. Your on here...so the kids could talk to you about all this once its over. Ms. Pillsbury...I want you to talk to each and every one of the people on this list and a few others._

_You know...the ones I've mentioned. Even if they aren't on the list. That's all I ask of you. Listen to every one please. And please just make sure you talk to all the kids. Could you do that for me? Think of it as...my last request. Okay?_

_I trust you. _

_Onto CD six._

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**Any guesses on who number thirteen will be?**


	7. CD six

**So I think I will finish the story today:) This will be CD six! Haha enjoy:) lol oh and this one will be a little longer**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Seven: CD six.**

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I kept listening to the static. It's like I could feel Rachel here. I kept hoping that I would just turn and she'd be there. It was almost as though she was talking directly to me. As I was about to get the next CD Quinn came back and sat across from me.

"What CD are you on?" I asked curiously.

"Six." The blonde told me. I nodded and pulled out the box with the CDs. Six was my next one. She saw and sighed. Tears forming in the corners of her deep green eyes.

She wiped the tears away quickly. "She was right you know. None of us will ever be able to look at each other the same way. Ever." Quinn explained. I nodded and watched as she waddled away with one hand on her stomach.

I put in the CD and pressed play.

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_Hello again everyone. I bet your wondering where I am...right now. Well, I'm in a field sitting under the stairs. It's so peaceful. I keep thinking how this could be the last time I ever do this. You know...sit under the stars. _

_But you know what. There's always been this one star that's caught my eye. I think it may be a planet...I'm not for sure. But it's so bright, and sometimes it's here...and sometimes it's not. Now...here's what I want you to do._

_If it's night time...right now as you listen to this tape. Go outside and look up at the sky. Find the brightest star, and that's me. I'll be the brightest in the sky. Go. Look. Find me one last time. Feel my presence all around you as you listen to me speak and look to the stars._

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You'll always be the brightest star. You always have been.

I walked outside and looked up. I quickly found the brightest star and smiled to myself as tears began to form. I really didn't want to cry...but I knew I probably would. I stared up and just listened to her.

That's all I really could do.

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_Now this CD is about none other than...drum roll please, Quinn Fabray. Well Quinn, at least your not number thirteen. At least your only number six. I bet your relieved aren't you Quinn. I bet when you heard your name you cried._

_Did you? Well...are you? This is weird. Talking like some things happening...when nothings happened yet. Because right now...where I'm sitting, I'm alive. And right now where your sitting, I'm dead. _

_Now Quinn, let's discuss why your on my list. Shall we?_

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I'll cry. When I hear my name. I'll probably scream and cry. And it's all for you. And your silly mind games your playing on everyone. I know Rachel...This is weird. Hearing you...even though your not here. But just know, I really wish you were here.

I began to walk back over to the music store. I sat out front, I looked at my phone again. It was 9:20. Time was going by so fast. Sooner or later my mom was going to call, and want an explanation of where I am.

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_Well Miss Queen Bee. You made my life hell. Do you remember all the names you called me? All the looks you gave me? All the insults you threw my way? You remember? I think so. And if you don't...go to the hospital and get your head checked._

_The worst thing you did though...was the night when I needed your help...and you just turned your head. I mean really Quinn? I know you don't like me...but I never once thought you hated me._

_Does everyone remember the car accident I was in at the end of freshman year? Well guess what. Quinn saw it. She saw that I needed her to call someone for me. I yelled o her. I screamed and cried...and guess what. She kept on walking._

_Are you shocked?_

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Stupid Quinn. Why the hell wouldn't you help her? She was in the hospital two weeks after that crash. I mean honestly...did you hate her that much Quinn?

I would've helped Rachel. I promise. I really would.

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_Because I'm not. I should've known she'd never help me. Ever. She was just to full of herself to realize that there are other people in this world besides just her. But I guess Quinn didn't know that at the time._

_But she does now._

_The pregnancy has made her softer. Just the other day...she found me in the bathroom crying. And what did she do? She sat with me. Can any of you others honestly say you would've sat with me?_

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I would've. I would've tried and help you. It never should have ended like this. You should still be alive, and no one should've ever had to listen to these stupid tapes.

I found a rock on the ground and threw it out towards the road as I began to cry, hard.

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_But wait. There's more. Yeah Quinn may have done one good thing...but that doesn't mean she has done anything else good. That one time doesn't make up for the many slushies that she threw in my face._

_Oh and Quinn. I'm pretty sure I know what you'd be thinking right now. That you don't want to send these on, that way no one else has to know what you did._

_I'm going to say this one more time...there is a keeper of the tapes. That keeper has an extra copy of the tapes. And if you don't send them on EVERYONE will know. Not just the thirteen people on this list._

_P-please g-g-go to CD s-s-se-ven._

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Her cries made me sick. I just listened, but I could feel the knot in my stomach growing.

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**What did you think? Please review:)**


	8. CD seven

**Please review! I'm working really hard on this! :) please:) This one will probably not be to long, and not to short.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**Chapter Eight: CD seven.**

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I quickly traded out CDs. I was praying that this was almost over and that I would be the next, but I had a feeling that would be to good to be true.

So I clicked play.

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_The next story is not as bad as some of the others. This story is about a boy who used to be my best friend. But he turned on me! And he started joining in with everyone else when they called me names and made me feel horrible about myself._

_Artie Abrams. Your disloyalty to me has put you as number seven. Not that these are in any actual order...but hey look at you. Aren't you lucky? _

_Nope. Because now, now ha, you get to live with this forever._

_You know Artie. The real reason your on this list probably isn't the disloyalty. It's because of the conversation we had. The one where I tried to tell you...that I was becoming depressed._

_But you wouldn't listen! I tried telling so many people...I wanted help. But now I don't. I'm ready. I'm staring at a bottle of pain killers, and I know that in the next couple of days...I'll be using them!_

_I Rachel Berry, have decided that I am going to overdose on pain medication. Doesn't that sound fun? Artie. If only you would have listened! Maybe...just maybe...I would've never started to make these tapes._

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You never tried talking to me. I would remember if you did. You should've come to me! I would have helped you! I mean I never wanted things to get to this point Rachel...never.

I clicked pause. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to cry anymore than I already had. I sat silently for a few minutes with my eyes closed. Until I felt someone tap my shoulder. It was Puck. He smiled at me and waved.

I took the headphones out of my ears and looked up at him. "What?" I growled. It came out more rudely than I wanted it to.

"Dude...are you okay?" He asked. I could tell he actually cared. Since I didn't know if he was on the tapes or not yet, I said nothing about them.

"Yean. I'm fine. Just let me be okay?" I questioned. He nodded and looked me over. Then silently nodded and walked back into the Music Store.

I clicked play once again.

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_Guess where I am now? If you guessed sitting outside of Artie's house on a curb, you correct. As I sit here...I remember all the good times we had when we were younger. When we were innocent little kids._

_We are not so innocent anymore, are we Arts? _

_You remember that nickname? Arts and Rach. Best friends forever. Or AH AH Artie. And RAH RAH Rachel? You remember? Because I do. I'll never forget. You probably will though. At some point...you'll forget._

_Well maybe not now...because the dead girl just told you. How could you forget that?_

_Please get the next CD. That would be number eight! Are you having fun yet everyone? _

_Because the fun has truly yet to begin._

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Her words were haunting as I stared out at the street. Slowly I put my face in my hands. I had a growing headache. I didn't think it would ever go away.

I found myself wondering. Would this pain I was feeling...ever go away?

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**review:) Next chapter should be up shortly! The next one will make some people mad. Especially Finn! Lol:)**


	9. CD eight

**Hello again:) This one will also be short! Lol:) Sorry! But Chapter ten will be pretty long! Probably at least two chapters long. Well enjoy and review please:)**

**Disclaimer: I DON"T OWN ANYTHING.**

**Chapter Nine: CD eight.**

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I didn't waist any time and got the next CD. Then clicked play, closed my eyes, and braced myself for what was next. Slowly we were getting higher and higher on the list. And I still hadn't heard my name.

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_Number Eight. I talked about you in the beginning. Do you remember? I said Number eight helped hold me down. Yeah...he knows who he is. Hey just think Azimio...at least your no thirteen right?_

_Azimio. _

_You have tortured people for so long. This CD is dedicated to you. In hopes that the haunting sound of my voice will make you stop._

_Another reason your on this CD is because...all of the slushy's. _

_Now you guys, I have to be honest. I made some bad choices. I made out with him in his room two days ago. I'm so sorry. I just didn't care any more. It probably would've went farther, but I started crying._

_And that Azimio, is just another reason your on this list._

_You took advantage of an emotionally unstable girl. You knew that I was becoming depressed! And you didn't care Maybe I should make your sorry Ass number thirteen. Nope. I have a better CD for thirteen._

_So just bare with me._

_But Azimio. Your CD is over. That's all I had to say to you._

_Number Nine. Your next._

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Where am I on this stupid list! Come on Rach. I'm sorry he took advantage of you. And I'm sorry that everyone was so awful to you. But what did I do! Why am I on your list! Please tell me! Am I thirteen?

I could feel that familiar feeling in my stomach again. It made me sick to think that she let Azimio touch her. I ran to the edge of the road and puked in a drain. Suddenly Puck was beside me again.

"What number are you on?" He asked as he put his hand through his mohawk then helped me up.

"What?" I asked. He stared at me for a few moments then sighed.

"What CD are you on? Have you gotten to yours yet?" He asked.

I couldn't help but wonder what number Puck was. Was he thirteen? Was I save. "Let's go for a drive Finn. Grab your stuff and come on." He told me. I nodded and went and got my stuff. We both got in the car and it was silent.

"No I haven't gotten to mine." I answered even though he'd asked me that earlier.

Puck nodded and looked at my CD player. "What number are you on?" He asked.

"About to start number nine. Puck where am I on this stupid list? What number are you? Am I freaking thirteen. God. She hates me. This is what I have to look forward to right? I freaking am going to take these tapes with me to hell." A few tears fell down my face, but I didn't care. I was done caring.

"Finn...dude. Just listen to the rest of the tapes."

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**PLEASE REVIEW:)**


	10. CD nine Part One

**Okay so we are onto number nine:) I'm pretty excited for this one as well! Haha but NO it's not Finn's yet. Haha well enjoy Chapter Ten! They have to pass them on because Rachel wants them to. And thats what happened in the book so that's what Im doing. BTW there are only two copies of each tape. Just to answer Laylita's question.**

**Disclaimer: I own Nothing.**

**Chapter Ten: CD Nine Part One.**

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"I CAN'T I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE!" I yelled, basically screamed. I was fuming by now. I would've been better off never getting the tapes in the first place. All at once I felt like I was going to pass out.

I'd felt more tonight then I ever had in my entire life. I'd cried more than I ever had. And I had just about had enough. I took out my phone and looked at the time. 10:15. Three missed calls from mom.

I texted her a fake explanation and breathed. Puck just sat quietly. "Listen to the rest of the tapes." He demanded.

I switched to tape nine then clicked play.

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_I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high and life worth liviiiing. I dreamed that love would never diiiiiiie. I dreamed that god would be for-giving._

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She was singing. And I could her the hiccups of her tears as she sang the rest of the song. All of it. Every last word. Her beautiful voice filled with sorrow made me feel like someone had just punched me in the stomach.

I started to feel sick again.

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_That was for you mother. Yes. That's who number nine on my list is. Ms. Shelby Corcoran. Also known as the Director of Vocal Adrenaline. Also known as my mother. Your probably all shocked that your on this list aren't you._

_Your probably like 'MY goodness I haven't done anything wrong.' Well you did. You broke my heart. I finally thought I had a mother. And what did you do? You turned around and killed my spirits basically saying you didn't want me anymore. _

_Do you have any idea what that does to a person?_

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I do Rachel. I understand where you were coming from. She did a shitty thing. A really, really shitty thing. I'm so sorry. I wish Shelby would've just left you alone.

Puck looked over at me and half smiled. I quickly looked away and stared out the window. Still listening to what Rachel had to say.

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_Listen, Shelby. The thing I hate the most, is how you sent Jesse after me. Look how well that worked out. He crushed me and you let him. You knew what was going on the whole time. He told me. And you let it happen._

_What happened to loving me? _

_I guess no one loves me. Not even my dads. They told me yesterday they didn't love me. So just for everyone's information, it's all been an act. The supportive father's I've always claimed to have..._

_That. Was. A. Huge. Lie._

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I loved you. That's a lie. I love you. I always have. And if you just would've waited a little longer. I was going to tell you. I really was. At Regionals Rach. I was going to tell you that I love you. I am just so sorry.

I clicked pause.

"Stop the car." I told him with urgency in my voice.

Puck gave me a strange look then cocked his eyebrow. "What why? Dude no. Your not leaving. I want you to listen to the tapes while I'm here okay. I'm not stopping this damn car." He told me. My jaw clenched and my hands bawled into fists.

"Unless you want me to puke in your truck pull over now." I said calmly. Seeing that I was not joking, he pulled over on the side of the road. I left everything in his car and got out. I hunched over by the curb and puked. Again.

My head hurt, and so did my heart. I didn't want to listen anymore. I had already guessed my fate. I was number thirteen. There was no point in me listening anymore. I was going to be number thirteen and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and walked back to the car. "What number are you?" I asked for what felt like the hundredth time. Puck shook his head and began to drive again.

"I'm not on the tapes." he confessed.

The shock on my face was apparent. "What the hell man? What do you mean your not on the tapes?" I asked confusion in my angry voice.

"I'm in charge of them. I have to make sure everyone who is supposed to listen to them gets them."

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**So what did you think? The next chapter will be CD Nine Part Two**


	11. CD Nine Part Two

**How is this story plagiarism? I gave the author of the real book credit! And just because other people have done it to does not mean in any way that I was taking there ideas! People need to get over themselfs and understand that more than one person can use an idea.**

**Jeese.**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. JAY ASHER OWNS THE PLOT AND RYAN MURPHEY OWNS THE CHARACTERS.**

**Happy?**

**Chapter Eleven: CD Nine Part Two.**

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"What? What are you talking about? Why would she pick you?" I asked. I was becoming angry. Puck had been worse to her then I had and he wasn't even on her list!

"It was all in the note she gave me with the two sets of tapes. Her note said to guard these and everyone who is supposed to listen to them. She had given them to me after school and told me not to look at it until I got home. Well, after I realized what was going on, it was to late." Puck shook his head sadly.

"That still doesn't explain why she'd pick you." I pointed out.

He shrugged. "I'm not sure myself. Well in her note it said she trusted me. And we'd started to forgive each other so I guess...she knew that I wouldn't let her down. But Finn...quit stalling and finish the tapes."

I nodded and pressed play.

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_Do any of you know what it feels like to not be loved? I bet not. All of you on these CD's are blessed with friends and family. Lucky you. I wish I was that lucky. But I'm not. No one...not anyone loves me._

_I just...I am so far gone..._

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I love you. You were loved Rachel.

The sound of sobs and static made my heart ache.

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_Please move onto CD Ten. I'm almost finished. _

_I have to tell you guys something. If number thirteen doesn't fail me, then these CD's will never be sent out. But if number thirteen does fail me...then well...I guess your listening to these tapes aren't you._

_Maybe...just maybe...thirteen will work out for me._

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Whose thirteen?

"Whose thirteen?" I asked.

"Listen and find out." Puck told me. I rolled my eyes and put in disk ten.

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**So SUPER short, but I hope you liked it:)**


	12. CD ten

**Okay so someone asked me to explain the end of the last chapter. The who's thirteen, "Who's thirteen?" Thing. First he though it, kind of to rachel then he asked it. Does that make sense?**

**Okay:) Chapter Twelve! Person ten! I still want your guesses on who number thirteen will end up being.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**.

**Chapter Twelve: CD** **ten.**

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Without any hesitation I clicked play. I had to figure out which CD I was on.

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_Sue Sylvester. This short CD will be all about you. Something I'm guessing you'll like. You do seem to like attention. And your on this list because you let verbally abuse me every single day, and never did a thing about it._

_Why?_

_Because she was a cheerleader. And it would've been awful if you lost one of your Cheerio's to detention. But tell me. Was it worth losing a student?_

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No. It wasn't. And I bet she feels really bad now. Just come on Rachel...school's a popularity contest. You know that. I thought you'd excepted that by now. I mean you should have known she wouldn't do anything...god. I'm an idiot. I should have helped you. I'm so sorry...

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_I guess you feel guilty now...right? Like you should've been a better teacher...blah blah blah. Seriously...Your only on here because of that one thing. And also I want you to start being nicer. It's a dead girls wishes._

_Will you do that for me?_

_No? Didn't think so. I should've known you'd still have to be rude to everyone, even if some of your rudeness is one reason a girl killed herself._

_Whatever. Oh and just so there's no surprise, Karofsky...your next. Prepare to be number Eleven._

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Where am I? HUH! Jesus! Am I freaking thirteen?

"I can't do this anymore. I don't fucking wanna do this anymore. Just let me go home." And that's when I started to get angry. I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to go home and sleep.

"You can't dude. Just a few more! You'll be fine no matter what number you are. I swear." Puck tried to comfort me. But it didn't work.

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**Sorry about my use of the F-word.**


	13. CD eleven

**So here is number ELEVEN! Hmmmm is Finn going to be Twelve or thirteen? You'll have to read and find out. :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Thirteen: CD eleven.**

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I pulled out the eleventh disk and slipped it into my CD player. I was nervous. I was afraid to hear Karofsky's. I slowly clicked play and closed my eyes.

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_David Karofsky. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to tell people what happened. How you relate to Santana and Matt's stories. So I won't. Let's just say...Mr. Karofsky was there. Okay? Maybe you'll figure out the rest later._

_If your smart you probably already know._

_Now Karofsky, right now your probably ready to burn these tapes. I wouldn't do that. Remember the second set of tapes? You wouldn't want those getting spread around to everyone would you?_

_Didn't think so._

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Oh my god. No way Rachel. Your not saying what I think your saying are you?

"Karofsky raped Brittany." I stated.

Puck nodded. "That's what I think." He told me.

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_I'm hiding something from you all about that party. I had to watch. Like as in I was forced to watch. They were all drunk and decided I needed to watch. Imagine having to watch an innocent girl get raped._

_It's not fun._

_Brittany knew I was in there. And that's why after she asked me not to say anything._

_Stupid boys. I hope all of you never EVER drink again._

_But knowing you guys...you probably will. Idiots._

_Oh and one more thing Karofsky. Leave the Glee Club alone. Kay?_

_Please move onto disk twelve._

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"This is the moment of truth." I told him quietly.

He nodded and I started to pull the second to last CD out of my bag.

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**WHO IS YOUR GUESS ON WHO THIRTEEN IS?**


	14. CD twelve part one

**Okay...so Here goes nothing. I may put up the last two or three chapters tomorrow:) Enjoy:)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Fourteen: CD** **Twelve.**

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_So this is the Disk I've been dreading. The one that makes me want to cry just thinking about it. The one that is going to end up possibly being the longest. Because ladies and gentleman...this one isn't a blame. And this one isn't part of the reason._

_This is an explanation for a very important person. The only person I feel I owe an explanation to. Finn Hudson...baby. Your not to blame for any of this. Maybe a little in the beginning I guess...but I never ever think of you as doing something wrong._

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But I did do something wrong Rach. I didn't realize that you needed me. And that's the worst possible thing I ever could have done. I'm so sorry. Just so very sorry. If I could go back in time and save you I would in a heart beat. You've got to believe me.

You should blame me. Entirely. I let you down.

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_I know you've probably almost killed yourself with guilt. Because the kind of person you are. A great one. You probably would do something if I could get myself to ask you for help. But I can't...I just can't._

_Finn. Take care of yourself okay? And think about me sometimes. Remember me as the girl who first loved you. Because in all honesty I do truly love you with my whole heart. Basically you're the only good thing in my life. The only thing that's kept me going this far._

_The only thing you ever did was break up with me for Santana and Brittany. Then you slept with Santana. Yeah sweetie. I know about that. And I forgive you. Because those things don't matter._

_You weren't trying to hurt me._

_Not like everyone else was._

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How did you find out? I'm so sorry once again. There's nothing I can do now. And I'll never forget about you. Ever. I swear. You'll always be the first girl I loved. And the first girl who ever loved me back.

I clicked pause.

"I can't take this anymore. This is all my freaking fault. No matter what Rachel says...I'm to blame. God. I don't want to hear anymore. I just can't believe this..." I choked on my own words. A huge horrible lump got stuck in the back of my throat.

And that's when it happened. I started sobbing. Not crying but sobbing and hard. And I didn't care if Puck saw. I needed this. I cried for the loss of the girl I loved. I cried because I was mad. I cried because I felt guilty. And after I was done sobbing about all those things, I just cried.

"It's okay Hudson. Dude just keep listening. You can do it. If your tape made you cry...then just imagine what number thirteen's tape will do to you..." Puck said. It should have come out sounding rude...but it didn't it was to sympathetic.

I just breathed then clicked play once again.

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_I don't want you to be sorry. I never ever wanted you to be sorry. I probably shouldn't have put you as number Twelve Finn...but I did. I wanted you to be almost the last one to get the tapes. That way you could be normal the longest._

_You've got it the easiest when you think about it. You have nothing to feel guilty for on here. But knowing you Finn...you'll find something to make you feel guilty. I wish you wouldn't...but you will._

_You know why? Because you care about me in a way. You're the only person I've ever felt like cared about me...even in just a way._

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"I cared about you more than in just a way Rachel! I could've helped you! But your so DAMN stubborn! God damnit!" I screamed then clicked pause.

"She's not here man. Your just yelling into thin air. She's not really here. I know...It feels like she's still here doesn't it? Like she came back from the dead just to make these tapes? Its such a weird feeling." Puck said shaking his head trying to think clearly.

"The way she says my name is so haunting. I'll never forget it." I confessed he nodded then pointed back at my CD player. Then he was silent. And I was silent. And I just wanted to cry again.

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_I know you probably miss me now...but someday your going to find the perfect girl for you. And I'll be watching from heaven giving you my blessing. _

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You were the perfect girl. And there's no doubt in my mind you'll be watching. I love you. I love you more than you know.

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**Next chapter will be a continuation of Finn's CD! Hope you enjoyed:)**


	15. CD twelve part two

**I just couldn't resist! I had to do part two:)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything:(**

**Chapter Fifteen: CD Twelve Part Two.**

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"Is it supposed to hurt this much? Shouldn't I feel good? Like I'm getting closure?" I asked as I paused the CD and wiped my eyes again. Puck sighed and started driving slower.

"Did you love her...?" Puck asked. My eyes went wide with shock. Why would he even ask that stupid question?

"Of course I do. I love her so much." I shook my head and covered my face with my hands.

Puck sighed. "That's your problem Finn. You have to let her go. And she's going to tell you that. She tells you she wants you to move on. Just keep listening.

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_Just so you know Finn. You're the most amazing person I've ever met in my life. And I wish I'd gotten to actually date you, I mean not just for a week. That would've been amazing. I love you. I'll keep saying it just so you know its true._

_Because Finn honey...you don't deserve to feel bad._

_And I want you to let me go. Don't become overly obsessed with my death. Please move on and keep on loving. Your so great and another girl deserves to know that to. I want you to tell her about me though...please?_

_Or is that to much to ask...if it is I completely understand._

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Nothing you ask is to much to ask. I love you to. And I will move on I promise. You just have to let me get over you first. And I don't know how long that'll take. I'd never met someone as amazing as you.

Your amazing to. And I swear I will tell her about you. That one special girl that I trust with my whole heart will know about you. I owe you at least that much.

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_Let's talk about Quinn for a moment alright? Quinn and Puck. You didn't deserve to be hurt by them. I'm sorry that no little baby is half yours. I'm sorry that you got lied to for months. I'm sorry that just when you were finally coming to terms with the fact that you were going to be a dad to Drizzle...or Beth...it was taken from you._

_That was a horrible thing for them to do. And if you would've just talked to me about the night it happened...the night you thought the baby was conceived...maybe I could have told you earlier that the kid wasn't yours._

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I was angry now. I looked over at Puck and wanted to punch him. It wasn't even just because of the baby either. It was everything. So many things were going on in my head all at once...and I just wanted them all to stop.

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_Someday you'll see me again. And I want you to know I'm around right now. Before I died I asked the lord to make me a rainbow and a star at night. I think he agreed. So now every time you see the brightest star in the sky, and every time you see that rainbow...you'll think of me._

_Now my memory can live on. A little bit at least._

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Your memory will never die. They are going to name something in the school after you. I think the choir room. You would've liked that. Everyone is so disappointed Rachel. We are having a memorial for you next week.

It's all for you.

All the teachers are disappointed that they didn't catch on to how you were feeling sooner. Once again...if you can hear me...I love you...and I'm so sorry...

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_So Finn Hudson. This is the last thing I have to say to you at least. Then you can pass the CDs onto number thirteen! But you know...you might not ever even hear this. Unless thirteen fails me. Which hopefully they won't._

_What I was going to say was. Life is short. Live it well. Find that girl that makes you over the top happy. Live. Don't worry to much about me. Move on but don't forget me. Remember me sometimes. Think about me every once in a while...but not to much._

_Have lots of babies. Just for me! Have tons of them! Get married someday! Go to college. Become a professional singer... or whatever you want to do! I've always thought you'd be a good teacher! _

_I love you Finn Hudson._

_Now onto tape thirteen._

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"No it can't be over...Puck...no. I need to hear her. I want her to talk to me again." I cried again.

"Man...it's going to be okay. I swear to you. Just listen to the last tape that way I can drive you home and you can get some sleep. You'll need it." Puck informed me.

I nodded and kissed disk twelve.

The got out disk thirteen.

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**To cheesy?**


	16. CD thirteen

**Here is the last CD. But not the last chapter. Enjoy and review please.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter Sixteen: CD Thirteen.**

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I clicked play and braced myself.

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_This is it. My final try at life. Are you guys ready?_

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She was whispering and you could hear her place the recording device in her bag.

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_Hello,Mr. Shuester ...can I talk to you for a minute?_

_**Well...yes of course. Come in Rachel.**_

_Thanks. It's really important._

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No. No way. No. No. No. No.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**What can I do for you?**_

_Well...you see. Lately I've felt a little...different._

_**Different how? **_

_Different as in I just am having trouble caring._

_**I see...I see. What exactly are you having trouble caring about?**_

_Everything...I just want everything stop._

_**Like what?**_

_School...relationships...life._

_**Wait...did you just say life?**_

_Yes._

_**You realize what you just said right.**_

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**_Of course she realizes! She's trying to get you to realize! Come on...don't fail her!

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_Yes._

_**Well. That's a serious thing you just said.**_

_I know._

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"DO SOMETHING YOU IDIOT!" I screamed anger pulsating through me.

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_**Do you want my advice?**_

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**_Advice? Seriously? No that's not what she freaking wants! She wants you to help her!

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_Is that what you want to give me?_

_**Here's what I say you do. Chill out. Your so uptight all the time. I say just calm down and let things settle down a bit.**_

_Goodbye._

_**Wait Rachel! Take my advice okay!**_

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Oh my god. You didn't try hard enough! You could have saved her!

I was so mad now. I kicked pucks glove box. "I know dude. I was mad to." Puck told me. I just glared at him.

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_There you have it. I tried. And he didn't care enough to help me. So goodbye everyone. It's been a pretty suckish life. And most of you have made it worse._

_Oh but Mr. Shue. You are number thirteen. And you deserve to take these lovely CDs with you straight to hell. I really kind of wish you could've done something. But you didn't. And now...Tomorrow after school...right after I send these CDs to the keeper of the CDs...I will overdose on pain medication.  
_

_Thanks. For not helping. Bye._

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"No. It can't be over. No! No! No!" I yelled again.

"You ready to go home now?" Puck asked. I nodded and he began driving towards my house. "Remember to pass those on." he reminded me.

"Okay." I agreed.

When we arrived at my house, I walked in silently. My mom said something to me but I wasn't sure. I didn't say anything to her though. I walked in my room, she my shirt and my pants. Plus my shoes and laid down.

And tired to sleep. But the sound of rain outside my window was keeping me awake. And every time I closed my eyes, I could see her face.

I had dreams about her that night. So many dreams.

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**So please review:)**


	17. Aftermath

**Hey guys this may end up being the last chapter...it may not.**

**I haven't really decided yet haha:) But enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing:)**

**Chapter Seventeen: Aftermath **

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I woke up the next morning, and got ready for school. When I walked into the kitchen my mom was glaring at me. "I'm sorry about yesterday." I said before she ever had a chance to say anything. Her face softened and she sighed.

"Finn...I'm worried about you. What happened yesterday?" Mom asked.

I looked at the floor as the events from yesterday replayed through my head. "I got closure." I whispered. Tears threatening to come pouring out of my eyes just as the had many times the night before.

"Closure? Huh? Closure for what?" She wondered.

"You wouldn't understand." I shook my head and grabbed my backpack to leave, but she stopped me.

"Try me." She said lightly. Trying to get me to let it out.

"Rachel Berry." As soon as her name left my lips it was like my soul was lit on fire. Every last inch of me was burning. I remembered everything she'd said to me on the tapes. I remembered how she looked. How she smelt. How her lips felt when we'd kissed.

"Oh...that girl who committed suicide? Oh my god Finn...did you know her? Baby I'm sorry. Just remember she's in a better place now." She smiled and handed me my jacket. "If you want to talk...we can after-school. I don't mind. Just take your jacket. It's raining."

I nodded and left. Dreading the school day that was to come.

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I walked into the school building and was greeted by Puck. We started walking down the hallway together silently. Until we saw Santana and Brittany. I felt sick. I wanted to tell Santana off, but I couldn't. "Dude it's okay. Calm down." Puck told me.

He could see me getting angry and wanted to end it before it began.

But it didn't last long. Because I saw Mr. Shuester and saw red. I walked up to him and he smiled. I frowned. "We need to talk. Alone." I spit out. He stared at me for a few moments then nodded. We walked into the choir room and shut the door.

"What's wrong Finn?" Mr. Shuester asked. Concern lacing his voice.

That's when I lost it. "OH! So you'll ask me what's wrong...but you won't ask Rachel? Did she really not matter that much to you?" I asked my face was red and I wanted to punch him. But I didn't.

The look on his face was pure shock. "What are you talking about?" He asked.

I got the box of CD's out of my bag and handed them to him. "Take these. And listen to them. Every one of them. You hear me? You owe her that much at least." I said before I walked out of the choir room and into the hallway.

The bell rang and I didn't care. I just sat in front of my locker in the hallway and closed my eyes tightly. Stray tears going down my cheeks. "You okay?" A female voice asked. I opened my eyes to find a medium height black haired girl with blue eyes staring down at me looking worried.

I nodded and closed my eyes again. "I'm Morgan. I'm new here. Are you sure your okay?" She asked again. I opened my eyes once more and looked up at her. As the words Rachel had said echoed in my ear. _Please move on._

"Uh yeah. I'm Finn. Welcome to McKinley." I smiled.

We walked down the hallway for a few and talked as I showed her to her first classroom. But once again she asked me if I was okay. And for some reason, I trusted her. I didn't know why, but I did. So I sat her down, and told her.

I told her the story of Rachel Berry.

When it was over she just stared at me and I figured I'd lost any chance with this girl. But then she smiled at me. "She sounds like an amazing girl. And you know...you should move on. When your ready. And I think I can wait until your ready." Morgan told me.

She stood up to go into her classroom and I sat there staring at the wall. I stood up and wandered down the hallway until I reached the window. It had stopped raining and outside a beautiful, colorful rainbow was forming.

I looked up at it and smiled. And that's when I knew. It was like a sign from Rachel. She was still here looking after me, and she wanted me to move on. And I would. When I was ready. But at that moment all I wanted to do was look out the window at that rainbow and remember her for what she was. Because no matter what she'd always be the one that got away.

My first love.

**The end.**

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**hate it? Love it? Please reviews:) That was the end I hope you guys have enjoyed reading this as much as I've loved writing it.**


	18. Authors Note

**NOT THE REAL AUTHORS NOTE**

**Hey everyone, it's Maria. Just thought I should lte you know that I'll no long be writing fanfiction:/ My moms being stupid and I have to get rid of my computer. So no more writing for me.**

**Well...you all are probably going to be disappointed in me. But...I didn't actually write "Thirteen Reasons why Rachel Committed Suicide." My friend did. I'm sorry I tricked you guys, but she told me not to tell.**

**The real author is...Abby. Or, GleekerslovesFinchel.**

**I'm sorry I made you guys think it was me. She doesn't have any stories up right now, but its her. So I hope you guys enjoyed her story.**

**But it really wasn't mine. I didn't write any of it.**

**So the person you should be saying good job to is her. **

**-Maria  
**


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